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Christmas Stockings

Terrace Trash exclusively reveal what some of our nearest and dearest got in their Christmas Santa Stockings this year. And at least one of these is true as well......

Lee Jeffries - Trendy suede patches for his jackets, those elbows must get really worn out.
Chris Burns - Some talc to stop the glow from his reddening cheeks glaring off the floodlights.
Brian Godfrey - Sun tan lotion - lucky bugger !
Matt Bath- a loud hailer to help communicate with his defenders
Jimmy Cox - boxing gloves for those Saturday nights on the town
Gloucester's Premier League armchair footie fans - a good old fashioned thrashing, some local pride and a pressgang to escort them through the gates of Meadow Park.
Neil Mustoe- gaffer tape, believed to have been a gift from a man dressed in black.
Mike Cook - wet wipes, to help cope with the aftermath of those unpleasant trips to Bedworth 
All the Players- a copy of the rules from guess who ?
Andy Hoskins - a solicitor. We all know what can happen to people with dynamite in their boots....
Adam Hemming - Lee Smith's 'Bulk Up or Perish' diet and training manual. And some guy ropes to stop him blowing away in the mean time. 
The Ryman League - a good firm boot up the arse to stop them messing about over re-organisation.
Dave Wilkinson - A big fluorescent hat so more fans notice he's on the pitch before he's slipped un-noticed into the penalty area and stabbed in another goal from six yards out.
The T-Ender website - An eight day week, meaning that long threatened new design eventually happens.
Adie Harris - a big box to stand on.
Colin Gardner - a match on the T-End, to stop him being so damn fair and reasonable about the referees. Perhaps his view is a bit obscured from the director's seats !?
Ch#*tenham Town fans - a large slice of humble festive pie and a subscription to the Non-League Newspaper.
Mike Cook - nappy pins to help keep his youthful subs clean and comfortable.
Kevin Ingram - a nice new watch that helps count off 90 minutes
Sutton Coldfield's ball fetcher - a guide on social manners. (The rest of the DML are still saving up for a sense of humour implant in time for next Christmas. It's such a big job the surgeon needs thousands )
Tracey Newport - an alarm clock. He never turns up until the gates are open these days does he?

Terrace Trash Article: December 2003