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Our quick guide to what the experts are saying on the hot
issues of debate in the City bar. Now you too can hold forth with the confidence
that you are speaking with the wisdom of experience, percolated by years of
painful defeats and rounded by the magical power of beer. The T-Ender and
Terrace Trash are proud to present the authentic voice of reason.....
Bar-Fly's Swift Pint Guide
Had to go didn't he? You can't have that going on, balls dropping all over
the place like you're at the boys brigade summer camp when they hit puberty.
His heads gone to pieces could do with a spell on loan somewhere a bit less
testing to get some confidence back. Perhaps he could go somewhere where
they don't cross the ball too high, a spell in a five-a-side league might do
it. Got to feel sorry for him though, nice bloke. You'd buy him a pint but
hate to see it go to waste if it slipped through his hands. Perhaps someone
can get him a straw?
Glad to see them doing well, off to a flying start
aren't they? Mind you that league's a piece of piss. Our lad's under eight's
side would probably beat some of those village teams. Fair play to them
though, you can only beat who's in front of you. Only a division below City
next season if they go up and we don't. Bit of a threat really, they could
replace City and steal the ground, or our players…. I hope they get
stuffed next week, the bastards, no good'll come of it mark my words.
|The Left Wing-Back Position|
He's tried Griff there and that didn't really
work; now he's got Kwesi there. You've got to ask the boss if he knows what
he's up to. The boy's a forward for Chrissake, he's only a lad, no
experience there. Can't see it working myself, he won't stand up to the big
boys under pressure. He had good games at Odd Down and Bedworth didn't he, I
think they missed him against Evesham. Wonderful attacking charges down that
wing, adds a bit of width and a few tricks. Kwesi, he's a tryer, that's what
I like about him. I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out to be a tactical
masterstroke. I've got a fiver on him for player of the year, but keep it
quiet otherwise everyone'll want some.
It might look like a waste of time having a pop at
the board, but you don't want the club run like a backstreet brothel, d'ya
know what I mean? Nothing on the sheets that you can't wipe off, everything
going on under the table where you can't see no matter how much you pay
them. Have they got things to hide or is it just a plot to get people to the
bar for another evening? Won't hurt them to do things properly for once. I
never trust any of them, I hired a video off that Keith Gardner once and
even though it was called Saving Private Ryan there was not one shot of Meg
Ryan's privates in it. In fact it was all a bit upsetting and not what I was
after at all. Things aren't always what they seem, that's all I'm saying.