Bar-Fly's Guide

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Our quick guide to what the experts are saying on the hot issues of debate in the City bar. Now you too can hold forth with the confidence that you are speaking with the wisdom of experience, percolated by years of painful defeats and rounded by the magical power of beer. The T-Ender and Terrace Trash are proud to present the authentic voice of reason.....

Bar-Fly's Swift Pint Guide

Had to go didn't he? You can't have that going on, balls dropping all over the place like you're at the boys brigade summer camp when they hit puberty. His heads gone to pieces could do with a spell on loan somewhere a bit less testing to get some confidence back. Perhaps he could go somewhere where they don't cross the ball too high, a spell in a five-a-side league might do it. Got to feel sorry for him though, nice bloke. You'd buy him a pint but hate to see it go to waste if it slipped through his hands. Perhaps someone can get him a straw?
Gloucester United
Glad to see them doing well, off to a flying start aren't they? Mind you that league's a piece of piss. Our lad's under eight's side would probably beat some of those village teams. Fair play to them though, you can only beat who's in front of you. Only a division below City next season if they go up and we don't. Bit of a threat really, they could replace City and steal the ground, or our players…. I hope they get stuffed next week, the bastards, no good'll come of it mark my words.
The Left Wing-Back Position
He's tried Griff there and that didn't really work; now he's got Kwesi there. You've got to ask the boss if he knows what he's up to. The boy's a forward for Chrissake, he's only a lad, no experience there. Can't see it working myself, he won't stand up to the big boys under pressure. He had good games at Odd Down and Bedworth didn't he, I think they missed him against Evesham. Wonderful attacking charges down that wing, adds a bit of width and a few tricks. Kwesi, he's a tryer, that's what I like about him. I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out to be a tactical masterstroke. I've got a fiver on him for player of the year, but keep it quiet otherwise everyone'll want some.
It might look like a waste of time having a pop at the board, but you don't want the club run like a backstreet brothel, d'ya know what I mean? Nothing on the sheets that you can't wipe off, everything going on under the table where you can't see no matter how much you pay them. Have they got things to hide or is it just a plot to get people to the bar for another evening? Won't hurt them to do things properly for once. I never trust any of them, I hired a video off that Keith Gardner once and even though it was called Saving Private Ryan there was not one shot of Meg Ryan's privates in it. In fact it was all a bit upsetting and not what I was after at all. Things aren't always what they seem, that's all I'm saying.