Bar-Fly's Guide

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Our quick guide to what the experts are saying at the end of the season on the hot issues of debate in the City bar. Now you too can hold forth with the confidence that you are speaking with the wisdom of experience, percolated by years of painful defeats and rounded by the magical power of beer. The T-Ender and Terrace Trash are proud to present the authentic voice of reason.....

Bar-Fly's Swift Pint Guide - Summer 2001

	Chris Burns' Arrival Just when you think it's all up and things have really reached rock bottom we've managed to pull something out of the fire and snatch that little bit extra out of the locker. I'm over the moon, Ron, and you can bet your mortgage on that one. I mean Chris Burns, he's almost like a proper footballer isn't he? You'd be glad to see him in the trenches next to you in the final minute of a crucial cup tie. He doesn't like losing either, he'll put the fear of God up the players and yet also nurture them and love them, keep them close to his bosom like a pint of sun warmed ale on a summer's evening. The trophies will soon be pouring in along with the crowds. I wouldn't be surprised to see a cure for cancer and Britain get back our Empire in the near future. Oh, yes indeedy. Of course we must keep our expectations realistic. No need to be silly about it is there. Another pint please Jim, I feel a little dizzy.
	Tommy Callinan's Resignation Well no-one saw that one coming did they? They say it was all about the money but at the end of the day he hadn't done the business. Thirteenth and driftng. Scrapping on the park like a school kid, I mean half of the players are school kids, but he wasn't. Should have been like a big daddy to them, not forcing beer on them all the time. Good bloke and a good player, always be welcome at Meadow Park, but perhaps he's just not cut out to be the big chief cheese boss man. £800 a week, well he knew the score and it's not that little money for this division. Someone gave me £800 a week I'd be happy. Y'know what I mean, it's only part-time isn't it? Extra money to do the house up, decent holiday, p'raps Florida, change the motor, get a nice new... £800 a week for ALL of them? The whole squad? My God you couldn't floss a decent players teeth for that kind of money. Well it's not just Tommy you've lost, I'm not watching that kind of thing. See yer, I'm off to Gloucester United.
	Godfrey in the Boardroom Well he's got a wealth of experience hasn't he? International caps, played for the top clubs and has done it all at non-league level. Managed the top clubs and then turned us around. The man should wear a crown really, no better man to be a football director. D'yer remember all that Barmy Army stuff, went through your head so you couldn't sleep that did. He's led us to some happy times. I'll never forget him punching that Worcester fella either, superb combination, left then right. That's leadership, that's commitment. Cut him in half and he'd bleed yellow and black. And he'd still get a punch in on you too. I reckon they must have had a problem with people falling asleep in board meetings, and he'll sort them out. He'll bang on the table and shout, things will liven up that's for sure. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when he gets going.
	The Close Season Dull? The summer makes dull look inviting. What do people do if they don't watch football? No wonder everyone out there looks so glum all the time. The shops don't sell anything I want and the television is all full of seventies repeats. I've put shelves up on every available wall in the house. Cricket's Ok but it's scrabble to football's twister isn't it? When I am king there will always be football. No wonder people get married in the summer, it's just sheer boredom, something to break the monotony. I bet they have football all the time in China to help keep the birthrate down. It's dangerous, I keep thinking about things and it's not natural. Need...to...watch...match, can't...keep........awake...